Village Stay: Part 2 in Pictures

My host family.

The community area. Mountains in the background.

A closer view of the mountains.
The village "main" street, which had a tea shop we would spend time at in the afternoon between things.
My family's barn and animals.

View from inside my family's mud house. Very simply, but very well built. The mud houses kept quite warm in the evenings, but were quite dark. Especially during loadshedding time when we only had candles for a few hours each evening. The house was three stories: bottom story open for housing the animals at certain times, second floor consisted of three small bed/living rooms, and the top floor was the kitchen area with nothing much more than an altar, a wood-burning fire, and a few kitchen items.

Picture from inside my bedroom (usually the daughter's room).
View from outside my window one early morning.
The village hosted a welcome ceremony for us. Here there are women dancing at the ceremony.
And more dancing......
And here's the men dancing.....

Woman here in Nepal wear red quite often.
Here's the woman-in-charge: definitely one of the movers and shakers and organizers within the village.
At the end of our stay we did a community service day for the village. We lucked out, in a way, that there was a national strike that day. Everyone came. Hard to tell if they would have come otherwise, but it ended up being very successful. Our group did teacher training (above), a broom making workshop from local materials that I think might have been considered the most useful workshop of all, and a day long game day for the children who were glad to have something to amuse them - song and dance competition included.
My "bahini" - little sister jumproping.

These two got dressed up for the dance competition.

A villager.
The handmade cutting tools were beautiful - and strong.

Oh - and more dancing. This was taken the night before I left when my sisters had fully warmed up to me and were comfortable, I think. They were so excited after the singing and dance competition that they spent a good two hours afterwards performing for me. They were fabulous!

The big city - Beauty or Beast?

Kathmandu is a complex city. There is so much beauty here: the people, the temples and offerings to the hundreds of gods that might be worshiped here (indicative of a worldview where the sacred is very integrated into daily life, and a worldview of flexibility and openness), delicious food, and ubiquitous shops that sell the most vibrant and colorful material I've ever seen as well as unique and carefully handmade gifts.

It is also an ugly city at times, however. Dogs here are treated so terribly, roaming the streets without anyone to take care of them. I have walked by dogs that have huge open wounds and that are barely living. People just walk by without paying any attention to them. I have felt sick to my stomach more than once. And yesterday I walked by a dog that lay stiff on the side of the road, dead. It wasn't that the dog was dead that bothered me so much per se - I understand what challenges come with true poverty and I know that all life must end at some point to give way to new life. It was that there was no ceremony for this dog. Nobody to bury it. Nobody to thank it for the company and protection that it offered them. No regard at all for the life that had passed.

Cows, however, are treated as sacred beings and have the "honor" of going wherever they like and doing whatever they like - including eating trash in the middle of a busy intersection. The picture above was taken on one of the largest streets in Kathmandu. The garbage company is on strike this week, so trash is piling up in all of the streets. And the picture is cloudy, because Kathmandu is a smoggy city.

I've learned to find some peaceful and quiet spots where I don't have to pass through chaotic traffic and heaps and heaps of trash. But the dogs - they are everywhere. And I can't escape the absolute feeling helplessness as I pass them and can't take each and every one home with me. Kathmandu is a stark reminder that nothing is ever simple. Beauty is beauty, because it is opposite something that is, well, not beautiful.

Luckily, the trash strike ends tomorrow. And I've decided to carry around something special with me - maybe cornmeal, maybe dried flowers - so that if I come across a dead dog again in the future, I will feel more equipped to say my own goodbye to it's life.

Above (top): highly detailed woodwork from a doorway in Durbar Square. One can find woodwork like this all over old town.

Christmas in Kathmandu!!!

Our buddhist guest house owners were very excited to host our Christmas party and even bought us some lights and tinsel to put on their plants in the downstairs room, as well as some food and drink. We have it good here!

The day started with grilling chicken and veggies over a BBQ. And much dancing around the BBQ. I believe we did quite a nice homage to our food.

Then some cake after playing a game with presents. We each brought one $1 present for a game that we played. My most affordable Christmas ever! I won a super cool children's book that is in both Nepali and English. It will keep me entertained for hours, I think, as that is about my level of Nepali right now.

Lots and lots of singing..... We were from 9 different countries. And somehow we all grew up with the same Christmas carols.

And even more dancing....... I think we danced 8 hours total on Christmas.

Would have been absolutely perfect if only my family and a bit of my mother's cooking (oh, and my special angel ornament) could have been here with me.

Village stay: Part 1

View of the mountains from the village. This is what I woke up to every morning.... ahhhh!
Village community member sitting (contemplating? resting?) as the young people were engaged in a sports and games day.
The villagers gave us an amazing welcoming ceremony during our stay. There was much talking and welcoming, they gave us white scarfs (of the Buddhist tradition) and flower garlands - Mala ( Hindu tradition), and there was tons (i.e. hours) of impromptu singing and dancing.... You can imagine how happy I was!
One of the only flat parts of the village - and therefore the main meeting/public area. No soccer here at this village- the ball would just roll down the hill....
My bedroom window in the evening. Evenings we were often without electricity, so my cozy (and actually quite warm) mud house was lit by candle light. Our house was a very simple, small mud house with space for the animals on the ground floor, bedrooms (which double up as living rooms) on the second floor, and a kitchen with only a fire to cook with on the top floor.

One side of the double house (two brothers live side-by-side with their families - houses joined on the top floor) and the barn that housed a water buffalo and many, many goats.
My family! Prasidi (older sister), Supriya (younger sister), and Prakesh (father) in the background holding his 6 month old niece for a moment so her mother could bathe herself at the tap.
Sita (mother) doing "Nepali" work as she called it (aka *hard* work). She wanted me to take a picture of her spreading cow dung on the front "porch". The cow dung,when it dries, keeps the dust away and makes a nice ground on which to sit in the morning sun or to lay the crop. Sita woke up every morning at 4:30 AM to gather firewood, take care of the animals, gather food for breakfast, start the fire in the kitchen, and to have breakfast ready by 9:00 AM. She then went to work from 10:00 to 3:30 PM as a teacher in the local school and returned in the evening to repeat the early morning activities.

One of their three cows! A calf, actually. All our milk for breakfast and meals came from the mama cow (milk which was also sold in the local town).

Part 1 -

I am back in Kathmandu after spending a difficult and absolutely amazing week in what I am sure must be one of the most beautiful villages in the world. Just in time for us to create a Christmas party here in the big city with the other volunteers, our teachers, and the folks who run our guest house.

My experience at the village is one that I am sure will unfold slowly - layer by layer - over time. I am reminded of going to Native American ceremonies back home and returning and feeling like I could never put into any words what the experience was like. Partly, because it was an experience of a worldview so incredibly different than the mainstream worldview, and partly, because it takes away the magic and power of some things to try to describe them and put them into words.

In the village there were so many new experiences to take in, and so many cultural differences (some good and some quite challenging) that I am hoping will only become more clear as I become more familiar with Nepal and the people here and as I feel more rested and have some distance from the experience. For now, I am hoping some of the pictures I can share will give windows into the village.

I am exhausted after spending restless nights with more mice and rats running around my room at night than I'd like to ever think about again. And feel peaceful in a way I have not felt in a really, really long time. The villagers were so amazingly kind and open with us, welcoming us into their lives, difficulties, joys, and homes.

I am going to first enjoy some sleep and a schedule that is finally my own for a few days here in Kathmandu....will write more about the village stay in Part 2.

So - for now - I wish you all much love and light as you celebrate the winter season and the promise of the sun returning in the spring however you might celebrate.

Off to the village!

This photo was taken very close to where our village will be - note the scattered houses on the hillside.

Above: Our cards with information about our families included the animals that they have. My family doesn't have any pets - maybe, because they are teachers and not farmers (as many of the families are). Other houses have buffalos, goats, chickens, and/or dogs. I hope to get to know some of the animal villagers, as well, next week!

I made a quick trip to town today to buy a couple of last things I'll need for my village stay, which starts tomorrow. We just received information about the village we'll be staying in, as well as our host families. I'll be staying with a family of 5, and apparently at least one of them teaches at the local village school. I'll be eating daal baat (rice and lentils) twice a day (by hand), going to language lessons during the day, doing my best to remember to do everything with my right hand so that I don't accidentally offend anyone, and practicing my Nepali as much as possible! I'm completely nervous about the communication- my Nepali is so very basic right now. Our group makes jokes about having to have the same conversation every night about our family and likes and dislikes, since we're at least comfortable with this. In reality, I bet I'll do a lot of listening, a good amount of charades (thank goodness for theatre training in elementary school!), and will just pick up what I can. At the end of our stay we'll also spend a day doing a community project for the village. I am looking forward to that.

Pictures and stories from the village when I return. We'll be in the village for 7 nights, unless there is a strike on the day we'll be leaving, in which case one never quite knows what the agenda will be.....!

Newari engagement ceremony

Newari bride-to-be
Grandfather of the bride-to-be holding a pastry frog

Bride-to-be feeding her fiancee cake.

Wedding party member handing over 2 live fish in a water bottle to the fiancee's family.

Young Newari boy wearing a traditional hat and a western-style suit.

Husband-to-be's mother feeding the bride-to-be cake.

Above: friends I made at the engagement ceremony....

The other day a group of us who were standing around not really knowing what to do were unexpectedly warmly invited to a wedding engagement ceremony happening at the same center where we have our language training. The ceremony was happening in preparation for a wedding to happen about 10 days later.

Once everything started, the grandfather of the bride grandly took his place at the center of the room to officially welcome everyone, and also to explain to us foreigners a bit about what was happening. He explained to us that they were Newari people – one of about 70 different ethnic groups here in Nepal. The engagement ceremony is the 8^th of 16 life ceremonies that the Newari celebrate, the first being a naming ceremony, and the second being a rice ceremony when a baby is finally old enough to eat solid food.

Most of the traditions for the engagement ceremony are very ancient, he said. It was important to him that we know what was going on, and that we felt included. There were certain foods to be given to the goddesses that were laid out beautifully on trays (whole fish, elegant pastries, and colorful candies). There were frogs (made out of pastry) to symbolize Newari ancestry (the Newar come from frogs, unlike others who come from monkeys), and live fish in water to symbolize longevity and health. After all, he explained, many creatures have come and gone from the earth, but the fish has been around since the beginning.

There was only one new tradition that had been added to the mix – western-style cake. I can’t really know, but my guess is that the cake came from watching weddings in movies from the west. Much of the ceremony revolved around cake being fed to others in a very serious and ceremonial way: first the bride-to-be to her new mother-in-law, then to her new brothers, and so on. Each time she would feed them a bite first, and then they a bite to her. Finally, her fiancée came and they exchanged pieces of cake with one another.

The bride-to-be was exquisitely dressed and looked like she could have walked out of a historical film. Her eyes were downcast during the ceremony and I didn’t see her until everything was complete and we were at dinner afterwards. She looked quite young, and this was an arranged marriage, which is common here still.

The ceremony was fairly short, and afterwards everyone went to the dining hall for a delicious dinner. We lucked out, getting a special Nepali meat dish in addition to our “regular” food and a dessert.

Nights like this – and the complete willingness of people here to involve us in their lives so openly and warmly – make up for the harder things by a long shot. I had a moment while I was sitting and watching the ceremony where I felt truly transported to a different time and place – it felt surreal almost. I realized that all my doubts about whether coming to Nepal or not had vanished. I couldn’t imagine being happier anywhere else that moment in time.

Photos from Duhlikel

Overlooking the hills and mountain villages.

Incense burning at a Kali altar.


Buddha overlooking the town of Duhlikel.

There's the Buddha - way up on the hill.

Me! And a few from my team.

Jennifer M ....I'm not yet wearing a kurta (the more tradtional dress), but will be soon enough! Promise to post a pic when I am. Here are a few from my group....