Tharu wedding ceremony

So, I'm in Dang right now and have just finished a 3 day training on Gender, Leadership, and Micro-finance for a grassroots community organization, NRMC, and 30 Tharu women from the villages they work with. It was fabulous, and I will share a short video from the training in a following post as soon as I am around a better internet connection.

In the meantime, I have pictures and stories from various trips during the last couple of weeks, and thought I'd start by sharing some pictures from a Tharu wedding that I attended.

Like many of my experiences here, this wedding came unannounced and unexpected - a last minute opportunity to have a window into a ceremony that is very different than the mainstream, upper-caste Hindu wedding tradition.

It was my last day at my friend, Rajesh's, village home which is a few hours from where I live. I was feeling a bit nervous about catching transport back home, as I was committed to heading to Chittwan National Park the next day, and everything comes to a near halt during the Deshain festival here. We weren't sure how easy it would be for me to find a way to get back.

As I was saying goodbye and thank you to the family and was about ready to head out, Rajesh's mother and sisters, who had been constantly working for 4 days: cooking, cleaning, cooking us more food, pleaded with me.

"But our neighbor is having a wedding, today. And they have invited you! They will be really sad if you don't come. Can't you come, please????? Even if it is just for an hour? We'll give you a sari to wear."

After everything they had done for me, there was absolutely no way I could say no. And an opportunity to see a wedding in a village that had - until just the last 50 years - had little contact with other groups and influences?

So, we rushed into my room and Sita put a sari on me quicker than I've ever seen anyone put on a sari. They are amazingly complicated. We then headed to the neighbor's wedding. Who I think might have also been a relative. Hard to tell. In Rajesh's village of 200 homes, he was related to maybe 30 or 40 of the households in one way or the other, it seemed.

Upon arrival, the groom was just finishing a ceremony where he walks around in a circle with a sword, symbolizing his commitment to protecting his wife and family.

Women in front of the house would occasionally burst into song - traditional Tharu wedding songs. Other women had gathered whatever they could from their fields and were sitting and chatting, chopping vegetables. The men had brought their animals and were behind the house slaughtering goats and chickens for the feast later in the day.

I was told that this was an inter-caste marriage (between two different indigenous groups). The groom is Tharu, the bride Gurung. The bride's family hadn't approved of the wedding, and no one from her family or village had attended.

I stayed only long enough to catch a glimpse of what was happening - and for people to take many pictures. They were both fascinated and proud to have a foreign guest appear. And not so happy when I said I couldn't stay all night and enjoy the big meal.

While sad that I couldn't witness the whole wedding process and participate in the festivities, I, however, had been fed continuously for the last 4 days, and at that point couldn't imagine ever eating food again.

We all left the wedding and walked back, quickly put my "regular" clothes back on, and I was whisked away by motorbike to the bus station where I was lucky enough to find something still heading to Hetauda.

Pictures above:

(1) Bride and Groom
(2) Women preparing food from their fields
(3) Men preparing the meat
(4) Bride
(5) Ceremonial sword and traditional ceramic pot - the Tharu "refrigerator"
(6) Me....in a sari
(7) My village family - getting ready to head to the wedding

In between

I am enjoying a full day in Hetauda today to catch up on laundry, water my plants, cook my own food, and to do some work in the office. Never has unpacking and cleaning felt so relaxing as this morning, it seems. A luxury to be in my own home.
Yesterday evening returned to Hetauda, and tomorrow morning will leave again for 10 days on the road.

This month, between traveling for work and enjoying the Deshain holiday, I will have been in Kathmandu for 9 days, my friends' village home for 4, Janakpur (home of famous Ram and Sita temple) for 1, Chittwan National Park for 3, Nepalgunj (far Western Nepal) for 2, and Dang district (also far Western Nepal) for 6 days. I am happily exhausted.

For now, just time for a quick post. Above are two of my favorite pictures from my trip to Souraha, Chittwan National Park. More later...

Today...

Today I woke up 6, did some yoga and laundry, and made myself tea.

Mornings are cooler these days. It hasn't rained for 3 days now. The monsoon season is over. I can hang my laundry out to dry now without worrying that I will have to wash it again tomorrow if there is too much rain.

Biked to the office and after checking my emails and getting caught up, noticed a lot of noise and laughter coming from the main room so I went to check out what was happening.

The staff are around the office these days, but, as it is the start of a new project, routines haven't been established yet. Without a plan, they self organized and one of the staff who is deaf was teaching everyone sign language. They were had a blast.

Received this text message on my phone from a fellow Canadian/French volunteer in Hetauda, Pierre:

Hi Tiffany, goats (khasi) are arriving today in Hetauda, “collectors” will have them for sale on the road toward Birgunj, 1 mile from the bridge, where the temporary gate way is, turn right, 1st street after it.

It is the beginning of Deshain - the biggest holiday here in Nepal. Their version of our Christmas. With all the excitement, fuss, stress, ceremony.

At the beginning of Deshain goats are slaughtered and then everyone eats meat for several days - a luxury not usually affforded.

I am too sensitive to animals to have wanted to see the hundreds of goats getting off-loaded from big trucks and sold for slaughter. Decided to stay in the office and work on a report, instead. But later, indeed, saw a woman with her two prized goats. Bringing them to market.

At least goats here are very well taken care of before they go off to slaughter. I would much rather be a goat in Nepal than a goat in the US.

Ate my khajaa (afternoon snack) at my usual spot. 21 cents for two freshly made roti (tortillas) and vegetable soup. Didi, what we call the woman who runs the shop, is feeling better these days. Last week she had been so sick that she had to close shop. I hadn't realized how accustomed to my routine I was until I had to find a new place to go for food.

After khajaa I booked seat number six in a public jeep that will take me to Kathmandu tomorrow. Seat number six is right behind the driver. Both the safest, it feels, and the most comfortable.

Had to bike to three different shops until I could find a place that had a recharge card for the sim card that I put in my modum that gives me access to internet.

Happened to pass the bakery along the way, so picked up some macaroons - the best cookies that I've found here in Hetauda.

As I was biking, thinking to myself, "remember to tell mom about the chaos of Nepal when she comes to visit. That there is no use in fighting the chaos. You just have to go with it, relax into it".

After work I visited a tent that is being raised to house mud-covered straw representations of gods that are being built for Deshain. Durga and her transport - the tiger. Ganesh - remover of obstacles. Laxmis - goddess of prosperity. Sawrasoti - goddess of education. Everyone will go to the tents on Friday for puja...and offereing for the beginning of Deshain.

I cooked vegetables and rice for dinner. This is perhaps my most common meal when I am cooking alone or with a friend at home. It's easy, simple, yummy, and healthy.

Then Elijah and I finished the evening watching an episode of LOST. Only 4 more episodes left until we have watched all of 5 seasons that my mom sent me in the mail last Christmas.

I can mark the year by the seasons of LOST I have watched. Not sure what will help mark after this...

For my friend, Hazel

To my litle-in-size-but-big-in-spirit friend Hazel,

Every night I see the most beautiful fireflies and I always think of you. I wish I could have you here to show you. I know you would love them.

They are these bugs that fly around and you can see them only at night. They have lights that flicker. I tried to take a picture of them, but it is really hard. I don't really know how they do it. I want to catch one, but don't, because I don't want to hurt them. And, I think they are very hard to catch. They float through the night air.

They remind me of spirits that are flying around telling us that - no matter what crazy things are happening in the world - there is always also magic to be found. And beautiful things. I know you would understand best out of all my friends.

I miss dancing with you, and I miss your beautiful pictures. But most of all, your imagination and your wisdom. I heard that you're going to a Japanse immersion school now. So cool!

I think of you all the time and send you a lot of love. When I return to home you will be bigger, and will have so many stories to tell me!

Your friend,

Tiffany

Nepal's Leaders

I have just returned to Hetauda from our leadership course in Pokhara - a fabulous experience. 3 days of training, 15 select participants, and an amazing view of the Himalayas.

We had a great group. Dynamic, engaged, passionate, and skilled organizational leaders. I was grateful for the chance to spend 3 days supporting those who are doing focused work here in Nepal...

We had packed the course really full, so there wasn't much "down" time. At the end, however, everyone gathered on the lawn at our hotel for some serious dancing and singing. Have I mentioned yet that singing and dancing is a part of *every* training that I have attended here in Nepal so far?

There were a lot of difficult topics that come up in the course, which is why I know it was good. Leadership - and the work we do - is never easy, or simple. It's really important to be around others who understand this, are grappling with this, are always learning and working to do better, and who - at the end of the day - can still have a good time and laugh.