So, I'm in Dang right now and have just finished a 3 day training on Gender, Leadership, and Micro-finance for a grassroots community organization, NRMC, and 30 Tharu women from the villages they work with. It was fabulous, and I will share a short video from the training in a following post as soon as I am around a better internet connection.
In the meantime, I have pictures and stories from various trips during the last couple of weeks, and thought I'd start by sharing some pictures from a Tharu wedding that I attended.
Like many of my experiences here, this wedding came unannounced and unexpected - a last minute opportunity to have a window into a ceremony that is very different than the mainstream, upper-caste Hindu wedding tradition.
It was my last day at my friend, Rajesh's, village home which is a few hours from where I live. I was feeling a bit nervous about catching transport back home, as I was committed to heading to Chittwan National Park the next day, and everything comes to a near halt during the Deshain festival here. We weren't sure how easy it would be for me to find a way to get back.
As I was saying goodbye and thank you to the family and was about ready to head out, Rajesh's mother and sisters, who had been constantly working for 4 days: cooking, cleaning, cooking us more food, pleaded with me.
"But our neighbor is having a wedding, today. And they have invited you! They will be really sad if you don't come. Can't you come, please????? Even if it is just for an hour? We'll give you a sari to wear."
After everything they had done for me, there was absolutely no way I could say no. And an opportunity to see a wedding in a village that had - until just the last 50 years - had little contact with other groups and influences?
So, we rushed into my room and Sita put a sari on me quicker than I've ever seen anyone put on a sari. They are amazingly complicated. We then headed to the neighbor's wedding. Who I think might have also been a relative. Hard to tell. In Rajesh's village of 200 homes, he was related to maybe 30 or 40 of the households in one way or the other, it seemed.
Upon arrival, the groom was just finishing a ceremony where he walks around in a circle with a sword, symbolizing his commitment to protecting his wife and family.
Women in front of the house would occasionally burst into song - traditional Tharu wedding songs. Other women had gathered whatever they could from their fields and were sitting and chatting, chopping vegetables. The men had brought their animals and were behind the house slaughtering goats and chickens for the feast later in the day.
I was told that this was an inter-caste marriage (between two different indigenous groups). The groom is Tharu, the bride Gurung. The bride's family hadn't approved of the wedding, and no one from her family or village had attended.
I stayed only long enough to catch a glimpse of what was happening - and for people to take many pictures. They were both fascinated and proud to have a foreign guest appear. And not so happy when I said I couldn't stay all night and enjoy the big meal.
While sad that I couldn't witness the whole wedding process and participate in the festivities, I, however, had been fed continuously for the last 4 days, and at that point couldn't imagine ever eating food again.
We all left the wedding and walked back, quickly put my "regular" clothes back on, and I was whisked away by motorbike to the bus station where I was lucky enough to find something still heading to Hetauda.
Pictures above:
(1) Bride and Groom
(2) Women preparing food from their fields
(3) Men preparing the meat
(4) Bride
(5) Ceremonial sword and traditional ceramic pot - the Tharu "refrigerator"
(6) Me....in a sari
(7) My village family - getting ready to head to the wedding
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